Darkness, his old friend 

“Smoking is injurious to health!”. He read aloud the signboard and let out a guffaw, and lit the cigarette in his hand. Smoke covered up his entire face almost, seemed like. 

It was half past five. Dusk had almost fallen. Even that day, I was trying to read the story behind the smile that he always faked; learn what made him cripple. Was there something that kept him smothered and abstained him from opening up? I wanted to decipher the entire Him. 

Though we have been known each other only for few months, we have spent enough nights discussing about almost everything, be it music or politics or sex or any college assignment or anything and everything possible. But there was something that he always kept hidden from me: The reason behind why he was on drugs; why he smoked like there was no tomorrow; why every night of his was dedicated to Mozart and whiskey and sometimes Steven Wilson. 

I asked him a couple of times. He never had an answer for me. 
But this time, I wasn’t letting him go. I needed an answer. I wanted to know what it was that has been killing him from the inside. 

I held his hand told him what if his mother was alive, wouldn’t she be in tears to see her son destroy himself… 

He stood numb for a moment and he broke down. This was the first time I saw him cry in that manner. I held his hand tighter and assured him my company and support. 
“Everyone, Margaret!”, he continued, “Everyone leaves me!” “My mom and dad met with an accident on my first birthday while returning from a nearby market. Nobody wanted to look after this orphan and everyone considered me to be evil. Then, one of my aunt, my mother’s sister decided to take up my responsibility. She gifted me enough happiness, until the time she was diagnosed with cancer. I lost her too. I was doing well not even in music. People stopped listening to me and accused me of being a stupid drug-addict. My world was in pieces. It still is in.”

“If smoking is injurious to health, let me kiss it thoroughly, for death is the only thing I desire for now.” He smiled. I felt my world sweep away under my feet. 

He couldn’t die. He ought to live. I knew. 

Picture courtesy: Pinterest


Ajar ’tis

To Eduard of my story, 
Just a confession out here. I am not strong enough to be able to defy death. Ofcourse, I am no Veronica. I amn’t that lucky to be able to win over death, when I deliberately shall want to. I am just as dumb; as naive. I swallow my secrets every night when my lips try to elicit them. I cry to sleep, knowing that my feelings will never reciprocate and I wake up the next morning, feeling incomplete. 

You know, you are not the very first guy I cried for or wanted to date. I had been in love before and also had my heart broken which makes me laugh now,  knowing that that wasn’t love, but just mere infatuation during my teenage years. Even this time, I was pretty sure that you were just one of my stupid crushes and that whatever I have for you shall fade away with time. 

It’s been a long time now. From craving to talk to you atleast for once in my lifetime, to teasing you everyday, we have had a plethora of memories. And as time passed by, I realized that I have finally come to know what being in love actually feels like. 

Undoubtedly, I am not Veronica to be aware of when I shall be dying, so confessing everything to you…. on your face, My Eduard is no easy a task. I am shy. I am scared. I am somewhere standing in the fine line between the fear of losing my friend, and the fear of losing my love. And I don’t know if it’s cool enough to let you know when all we have now is to pass our college days with me not aware of when death shall kiss me.

I have always wanted to confess this, but something kept pulling me back. I am actually befuddled on whether I shall be your lover for a while, or be just a friend forever. I guess I would have never known what Love is, had it not been you. So, my Eduard, know that no matter what this stupid friend of yours will always be there as a shoulder to cry upon. 

                 The girl you will never fall for 

Picture courtesy: eskipaper.com

The 53rd second 

There was something new lingering around me. Oh! was it the champagne or the taste of his kiss that he planted on my tender lips or was it the might of his sugarcoated words or the new novel that I have been holding in my hands since the last twenty minutes that has left me intoxicated. Oh! well I guess I’ll never know what I was going through and what stimulated Oxytocin and Dopamine in my body that resulted in a curve down my face inspite of the troubles engulfing me within. 

The past few days have been enthralling. From Richardson-Dushman’s equation to Shakespeare, I have been juggling myself around and tried to fit in with genres not of the same kind. Maybe I was adjusting to a whole new phase of life or probably trying to distangle myself from the knots that made me feel claustrophobic. 

Running my thumb through the music player on my cellphone I chose a song that had won my heart and soul the moment I heard it first and I adjusted myself to the window seat of the cab. “I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years. And I’ll leave my heart wide open”… the 53rd second introduced me to these lines which weren’t mere. Yes, I did feel the energy and strength that enlightened me and ushered me with hopes of extirpating the sins and troubles that I had. Yes, I did leave my heart wide open and let my emotions flow freely . And Hey! Was I in love with him that made me fall in love with my life!  I guess another 53rd second will make me realise so :’) 

A matter of chance,legit eh?  

Never have I aimed to be a writer nor somebody’s muse. I have always feared trammels; no hindrance did I ever want to have in my life. But then, life is not a bed of roses and even if it was so we all know that Roses do have thorns. Once you get pricked by it pain doesn’t remain a friend of distant memory. 

Naive, that’s what people used to describe me as. And it was legit much to describe a girl who won’t be travelling to Kentucky to have just a try on Burley. I was the sort who was always confined to her bed with a pair of earphones as her soulmate. Had I been stout, I would have clearly justified the character sketch of the tramp that Griffin encounters in the story. 

And all of a sudden, Guilelessness met Complexities and a whole number of things became incomprehensible and what people call as 3 Am thoughts came into being in my life, making a clear path for perpexlities. 

These whole set of new things once  made me somebody’s muse and now to look at me he did refuse. And the roller coaster ride that I still am going through made me inject my notebook with words heavy enough to describe my emotions, and people started calling me a Writer… but I believe that I am more of a portrayer of my life, a storyteller maybe. I write so that my feelings don’t decease, even after I take a leave. 

So, you know things just happen by chance. An aimless nincompoop like me finally was somebody with an ample of experiences from heartbreak to heartheal and somebody with an upbringing ensembled with both highs and lows. 

You just never know what’s in store. You just never know if the beginning is the end or the end the beginning. Life is just a gorge that keeps on flowing, and happiness and sorrow, my dear is just a matter of chance. 

Me and Her 

Slowly, I tried to pick her up and hold her in my arms. Her dying body, her aching heart ; a perfect blend of hopelessness and agony. My frail hands found it difficult to lift all that weight. But, they just didn’t admit to accept defeat. 

I looked at her withered skin and the burns that articulated her past memories impregnably. She had almost stopped breathing and suffocation took the better of her. But, she was not dead yet. She was alive… alive with her tears and a gorge of blood finding its way from her body. She was wounded; wounded with injuries that were impalpable. 

Nothing went unseen by me. Seconds that turned into years finally made my frail hands way stronger. I could lift her up. I could make my hands reach the visor, the visor that was broken down once. I made myself prepare with a shield too, leaving no stone unturned to protect her. 

And little by little I was able to see her visage glow. There she was, smiling. Her eyes were gleaming, perhaps with joy and hope. She was full of life once again. Her wounds started fading. She no longer was left smothered and broken. She metamorphosised, only to be stronger and better. 

“She” is the soul; the soul of mine that was once broken into bits and “Me”? Oh well! I am just Me, the skin protecting the soul fighting with the noxious air around me :’) 

Two steps forward


Was it easy? I am pretty sure, it wasn’t. It did hurt you a lot when all his/her gifts, promises .. all started to seem just a mere illusion. It did hurt you to know that his/her “I’ll love you Forever” stands  obsolete now, and that the definition of Forever has been changed now. It did hurt you when you went through those conversations when life was like a fairytale; those beating hearts over Whatsapp too add to the deep agony. And do you still remember sitting below the elm tree on that bench with the serene lake infront? Sigh! Now it’s all a thing of your past that you have left far behind. Life did take a turn, didn’t it? Well, do you realise that now that life did take a turn, you will be embarking on a new journey; explore new things; confront a new horizon? Yes, you shall be gifted with a whole new life with lots of adventures full of zeal and thrill! You shall lose yourself in the lap of nature and wait for the one who is actually meant for you… who will stand beside you no matter what and tell you how beautiful you look even if you are unkempt; The one who will kiss away every wound of yours and hold your hand in every step. Trust me, your past was just a lesson for you to teach you about what life actually is and there is no point in regretting, instead you should always look forward and be thankful to have learnt so much in life. Nevertheless, to all the heartbroken people out there~ “Smile, not because you need to fake it infront of people, smile because it suits you best and it indeed is the perfect ensemble to woo your The Perfect One.” 😉 So, Good Luck and I hope that you encounter your Perfect One very soon :’)

Defining Death~an exquisite form of Art 


Death is inevitable. Death is encountered by every being. Death is a coveted title. Death is peaceful. Death is freedom… Death is a beautiful reality.. articulate enough. 
Death is not merely closing your eyes forever and letting your soul leave the body. Death is a divine form of art leading to a path of eternal peace. Paradise becomes the canvas and you become the object of the painting – a free bird with gossamer wings….. letting yourself explore new horizons everyday. 

Death is a symphony, and an Octave Its heartbeat. Death is a novel, never-ending and a Writer’s beloved. Death is a form of dance in synchronization with the beats of music…. which lets you be as graceful as you can be. 

Death knows no bar… death knows no religion. Death is embraced by all… for Death is innocent, and death is an exquisite form of Art. 

Somewhere, Someday…

Someday you shall realise that Money has nothing to do with one’s happiness. Yes, you heard it right!
   Well, definitely it can buy you materials which can give you momentary happiness, but dear happiness ain’t a material. In the crave for money you get on the track of a race which even you don’t know where the finish line is. You sacrifice the best days of your life because you think bundles of notes can give you happiness, but dear you are mistaken. Money is just a treat for the eyes and a license to buy things you have always wanted to. Yes, you can go for a world travel, buy a grand mansion, buy real expensive cars and gadgets but can never buy the love and affection of those near and dear ones whom you had ignored while building up your dreams, er safes for storing those bundles of money. No, they don’t hate you, they still love you the same, but now they no longer feel that you need their love and affection. They think dollars and francs have very well substituted their love. Just think once what Bob Marley stated, “Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.” And this ain’t a shit. What is shit is claiming yourself to be busy when actually you aren’t.
    Aiming high is not a bad thing at all. Infact, it is more than awesome. But, sometimes you may not end up as you thought you would. Working hard is definitely something commendable. But dear, just keep in mind that your family need not have dinner without you, your sibling need not have to start hating you because he/she doesn’t have his/her brother/sister to share stuffs with, your grandparents do not need to shed tears craving to see just a glimpse of your face, your girlfriend/boyfriend need not have to spend mornings and nights with a grief and without your Good Morning and Good Night messages, your friends don’t have to go to restaurants and movies without you by their sides 🙂
   Money lost can be brought back to your wallet, but dear the people lost from your life can never be.
   Your bank balance may cover a million dollars but your heart may not have a single person who can fill that void. You may have a grand mansion, but nobody to cover up the rooms except you. You may have a thousands of reasons to be happy, but nobody to share with. You will look back at those rejected calls and those text messages that you didn’t care to reply, because you were too Busy. You will want to talk to them, but you will no longer have courage to press the Send button. Trust me, this is what will happen.
   Will your notes come to cheer you up then?? They will end up  being pieces of paper, Just like paid bills of a nearby Domino’s.
   Someday, you shall realise this. And mind it honey, this day is not very far. :’)

The Special Someone


She sat in the balcony gazing at the beautiful blue sky while the birds chirped and fragrance of flowers lingered everywhere. She had with her, her guitar and fingers moving to and fro the fretboard. C-major, A-minor, F-major…the chords found their way through her fingers. She was strumming her guitar with immense pleasure and she could experience euphoria. The balcony seemed utopia to her. The following day awaited a meeting with her Special Someone. She was constantly smiling and her eyes sparkled with shimmer of happiness. She was going to play some beautiful numbers for her Special Someone, so she wanted everything to be precise and beautiful.
          The next morning she woke up early and gobbled her bowl of cornflakes as fast as she could, took her priceless beauty along with her and headed to her Royal Enfield parked in front of the porch. She was more than excited to meet her Special Someone.
         Finally she reached the destination where she was supposed to meet her Special Someone. “Welcome Tara !!” There were  smiles everywhere and an aura of happiness surrounded her.  “Grannies and Grandpas..see I’m here. I have even composed few songs for you guys..the most beautiful people in my life after I lost my only support, My Grandma. Tears rolled down her eyes but embraces from the beautiful people around subdued her despair and sorrow. And in Tender care Old-age home she found happiness in the beautiful faces there,  and those faces, in her.

Fire extinguisher, Anyone?

“SARCASM”~ Well a common thing faced by everybody and you will definitely Receive this if you let people know about your work in a global platform, thanks  to social media.  I mean c’mon we are humans, and we obviously search for an oppurtunity to be sarcastic towards people. Isn’t it?? (pun intended). Somebody “Uploads” a photograph clicked by him/her by a DSLR, he faces sarcasm. Somebody starts “posting” write-ups, he/she faces sarcasm. Somebody is proud of his/her Guitar and if he/she “Uploads” a pic of it, well sarcasm awaits for them too. Well the list is infinitely long so let the examples face termination.
    I have laid a special emphasis on the words regarding upload of stuffs, because until and unless you don’t post anything in social networking sites, nobody is going to tell you anything. You know some people just don’t like others’ work being publicised. There are people with such nature and nobody can deny it.
    So, does it mean we should stop being Ourselves, be scared of Sarcasm and lock ourselves??? No, Absolutely no. Everybody has got the wings and it depends on us how high we can fly and how far we can reach. Hurdles are faced by everybody where Sarcasm is just a piece of garbage on the way to your destination. Undoubtedly, streets do have garbage loitered here and there which we ignore and just go on walking towards our destination.

A glass of red wine,
Which is solely mine.
I know I’ll shine
And that you will whine.

Jesus! Save the world. Let those dolts know the difference between an Universal Critic and an imbecile who just tries to criticize people out of sarcasm. We need a teacher and we lack one. So it’s Us who has to be one’s Best Guide. Let them be sarcastic towards you. Just smile and say-
“Fire extinguisher, Anyone? I guess something is burning.” 😉


Image courtesy: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/137570963592662459/