Our meetings became frequent soon after and the relationship with my family was also rekindled. Everything started feeling right in place, until one evening I happened to visit a new bar in the corner and there I saw him sit in the proximity of a girl that I had never seen before. Both of them seemed to be quite unaware of what was going around them and they started getting too cosy. The bar was kind of a shady one and it really allowed them some space of their own.
Seeing this happen, right in front of my eyes, I could feel rage running through my veins and my insides were screaming like someone who’s gone berserk. Somehow, I managed to keep myself together and went near them. By now, they had separated a bit from each other and taking that as the right opportunity, I greeted Joshua. He greeted me back. I was surprised to see no trace of shame or regret upon his face. Perhaps, disappointment comes for free with everything and everyone.
I didn’t have anything and went to my place as fast as I could. I went to bed with an empty stomach and cried the whole night. I was too frail to do anything and isolation from everything seemed to be my only option.
But, restlessness started growing inside me and instead of being silent I wrote to Joshua about what I was going through at that point of time. His reply was a casual one. To him, I was just some friend he had spent some quality time with. To me, he was one of the most beautiful things ever happened. He defended himself claiming that he never really was vocal about any relationship sort of thing going on between us and that I was behaving like an immature. Eventually, I was hurled profanities at. The words kept on ringing till a long long time, like that one bad trip. Gradually, the distance between us started growing and I thought to myself that maybe he was being right. Perhaps, my inability to stall my expectations and false imaginations was the root cause of everything. We cut off contact from each other. It was more than difficult for me to cope with it. In fact, I was surprised to find myself delve so deep into someone, when I had been in casual relationships, earlier and it didn’t even matter so much to me. Sigh! Sometimes, someone enters our life and everything around us changes. We find ourselves in a different version, and befuddlement seems to be the only thing engulfing us.
Well, the truth is that we all want to be loved. We all seek for warmth in another person. While some of us admit to it, some of us don’t. As we grow older, we tend to think that we’ll be laughed at or probably be humiliated if we claim that love is the only thing that we are searching for so many a time we keep our feelings to ourselves or bury it deep but the truth…the truth of love being one of the greatest entities of this world can never be denied. I found that certain warmth in Joshua. A separation from him came in like a major turning point in my life, yet I continued with my day to day work until one day I eventually decided to leave the States and move to my hometown.
…to be continued
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